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The Guide to Men’s Lingerie
Pulling off that sexy look to seduce your partner can be tricky when it comes to mens lingerie. It always seems so easy when you decide to surprise your girlfriend or boyfriend for Valentine’s Day or their birthday, until you get to the mall and realize that when you struggle into a pair of tiny silk briefs, you don’t look like the guy on the box does.
Mens lingerie is more than just a new pair of underwear that doesn’t have Mickey Mouse prints on them like all your others, it can be absolutely anything you want to wear, either because it makes you feel sexy or because you want to make your partner horny. Preferably both! This is my guide to the pros and cons of buying and choosing mens lingerie and how to go about it without getting stuck with something too small or that makes you feel ridiculous.
Shopping itself is one of the hardest parts of mens lingerie – and all before you even get near the bedroom. I find that there are usually 3 main obstacles in my way when I’m shopping for mens lingerie.
1. “Mens lingerie isn’t easy to buy.”
We aren’t so old-fashioned anymore that the idea of a guy buying sexy mens lingerie should be treated like a dirty secret – this is the 21st century, isn’t it? But that’s exactly what it feels like – even if you can find a specialist lingerie store that caters for men too, it’s hard to stop yourself guiltily looking around before you slip inside the doors. Fortunately, there’s always the internet. The porn industry thrives through the internet because it’s one of those markets that cater for people who feel guilty about what they’re doing and want the anonymity a keyboard and a computer screen provides. At least with the internet you can browse mens lingerie in peace without worrying your mother-in-law is going to see you through a store window. Even online shopping isn’t problem free though, which leads me onto problem number 2:
2. “Mens lingerie doesn’t fit me properly.”
You obviously can’t try anything on before you buy when you’re online, so you have to wait until a vague brown parcel arrives on your doorstep for a chance to see if you had your measurements right. This won’t be a problem if the most risqué of mens lingerie you’re interested in is silk boxers, but there aren’t many men who know what size corset they fit. My best advice is to buy from somewhere with a flexible returns policy. That way you can easily ask for a different size if your cock ring is too tight or your stockings and garter are sagging. The best sites have detailed measurements and sometimes even a guide for choosing a size of mens lingerie, meaning that as long as you have a measuring tape ready, you can usually get your size right first time.
3. “I don’t look like the muscle-bound model on the box.”
And here’s the most common problem when buying mens lingerie. Especially if they’re new to it, most men are very self conscious – I regularly order mens lingerie and I still feel awkward and unsexy sometimes. Women think that we’re all super confident about our bodies because we don’t complain about flabby thighs 24-7, but the truth is that there aren’t many guys out there who are completely happy with what they’ve got. The key to buying mens lingerie is to feel comfortable in it.
The Perfect Fit for Me
Sizes and Comfort
It goes without saying that you should get the size right so that your corset isn’t leaving you gasping for breath and you don’t have to perform keyhole surgery to get the back of your thong out of your ass. But comfort is pretty important too. You’re not going to be lying around on the couch watching TV in your new mens lingerie, you’ll be very active in it so make sure that it’s not going to pinch in places you don’t want it to (or that it does pinch in the right places if that’s what you like) and you won’t get distracted when you’re in the moment. It’s not sexy if you have to stop and struggle out of something it took you twenty minutes to get into in the first place because it’s restricting your movement. Mens lingerie is meant to be sexy, and if you don’t feel like the hottest guy in the state in it, you probably won’t look that sexy in it either.
Matching My Body Type
Women seem to have a hundred different body shapes they’ve categorized into fruits: pear size, apple size, etc. I don’t understand them, and I’ve never known any guy who does either. I’m not saying that you should choose what kind of mens lingerie to wear based on how wide your hips are, just think about what you think the best bits of your body are. If you’re hung like an elephant, there’s no harm in buying mens lingerie that draws the eye to it, is there? And on the other end of the scale, if you’re not proud of your skinny upper arms, you could always buy a silk robe to cover them and still keep the sexy element. Nobody will look exactly like the guys they use to model mens lingerie – they’re paid to look like Greek gods and it’s their job; assuming you can look like them is the same as thinking you could walk into NASA and pilot a space shuttle.
Pleasing the Audience
This only matters if you’re dressing up in mens lingerie for someone else. Trust me, I’m not going to judge you for buying something to wear by yourself on a quiet Tuesday evening, we’ve all done it! A quick word of advice to anyone who’s thinking of surprising a partner though: Know your audience. If you’ve never mentioned to your boyfriend or girlfriend that you’re into cross-dressing or PVC mens lingerie before, it’s best not to suddenly appear in the bedroom doorway dressed up in all your finery. Their jaw might drop, but that doesn’t mean it will be the right kind of shock. A sexy surprise is always nice when it comes to the bedroom, but test the waters first so you know if they like what you like, even just by casually dropping it into the conversation. The most awkward conversation I ever had was just after I decided to surprise my first boyfriend by appearing in a mens lingerie fireman’s outfit. He didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, and eventually got around to explaining that his deceased father used to be a fireman. Admittedly – that was bad luck but it definitely killed the mood. Start small and build up, because it not only allows your partner to get used to the idea, it also makes the fun last longer.
The great thing about mens lingerie worn for a partner is that you shouldn’t worry about feeling awkward or unsexy in it. Your partner wouldn’t be with you if they didn’t think you were hot, so there’s a good chance they’ll like you in whatever you’re wearing.
Men vs. Women
Being bisexual and a mens lingerie connoisseur, I guess I have quite a good idea of what kind of mens lingerie will please on both sides of the fence. To be honest, I get pretty annoyed when people assume that all women want their men in plain white or black boxers and their idea of kinky mens lingerie is black silk instead of cotton or a tool belt. The same goes when people think that all mens lingerie intended for two men together will be head to toe leather that looks like something out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. People are people, and everyone has a different kink, especially when it comes to mens lingerie. The boyfriend who I stunned to silence with the fireman’s outfit didn’t want either of us to wear anything more kinky than boxers when we were in bed together (although I did think that he had a bit of a thing for school uniforms), which was what made me lose interest but was just his choice. On the other hand, I once dated a girl called Louise who used to make me wear her lace panties when we went out to dinner. It kept me hard for the whole meal – so much so that I couldn’t tell you what I ate at a single one of those restaurants – and she used to keep her foot in my lap to keep my attention. We experimented more and more and eventually she made me realize that I quite liked cross dressing. She even talked me into wearing her clothes out to a club once. What I’m trying to say that everyone has different fetishes and sexual interests when it comes to mens lingerie, no matter what sex or sexual orientation they are.
What Choice Do I Have?
OK, so maybe now you know what how to buy and what size to get it in, but do you know what’s available out there? Or has your partner asked you to dress up in some mens lingerie and you’re not really sure why they want you to? Let’s take a look at the various genres of mens lingerie and I’ll explain a bit about the perfect way to pull them off.
• Subtle & Traditional:
This is the stuff you should start with if you’re not sure if your partner is into mens lingerie, or if you yourself are a little bit nervous about it. It’s a good way to spice up your sex life without making any bold statements about your fetishes and a great stepping stone up to something more exciting if that’s what you’re aiming for.
Subtle mens lingerie includes silk boxers, jock straps, see-through shorts, silk robes, thongs, G-Strings; basically all the stuff that’s just a bit more exotic than your usual fare. It just makes you feel a bit sexier, and you should wear it as much for the way it boosts your confidence as much as for someone else. Both men and women don’t usually ask for this kind of mens lingerie, because that’s a bit like telling your guy that you don’t find his usual underwear sexy at all. I’ve always found that subtle mens lingerie turns sex into some sort of ‘special event’, like suddenly a change of boxers has changed everything and given a kinky shine to it.
My favorite example of subtle mens lingerie was two years ago, when a guy I was dating stripped off his normal, day-to-day jeans and T-shirt, and underneath he was wearing this lacy little thong, with his erection pressed up flat against his stomach and the head poking out the top. It was as much about the surprise as the way it looked and the fact that it still sticks in my memory now tells you how much I enjoyed it.
• BDSM
Obviously, BDSM is a much larger subject than just mens lingerie, but there’s a lot you can wear if you want to get into it. I imagine that if you’re into this, your partner probably already knows about it. For the guy wearing the BDSM mens lingerie, it’s usually all about restraint, submission and ownership, so if someone’s asked you to wear a harness for them, they want to feel like they own you and dominate you. This stuff can be quite fun – even it’s not entirely my thing – because half the excitement is wearing all these kinky, submissive outfits underneath your normal clothes. One girl asked me to use a Japanese rope technique on her, which meant tying rope around her torso so it rubbed against her tits and between her legs whenever she moved but her arms and legs were free. I didn’t really get it at first, but – eager to give something new a try – I tied her up the way she directed me to and we went to work. At that point we were both in the same office, and it really turned me on to see her flushed and turned on all day at work, knowing what she had on underneath her clothes.
Another popular area of BDSM mens lingerie that really turns me on is wearing cock rings and chastity devices underneath my normal clothes. Koala Swim.com has a range of chastity devices made of metal that are really creatively designed and can keep your cock completely locked in place. The restriction and teasing pleasure of not being able to touch yourself is a real turn on, but I’ve never used them with someone else before, just by myself. I like the idea of having my dick trapped and orgasm denied, but I’m not sure I’m ready to trust someone else with the key to my penis!
This is an interesting one, and also another unthreatening style of mens lingerie to try if you’re not sure what your partner likes. The popular ones are firemen, cops and mechanics, but pretty much anything goes. Personally I’ve got a thing for librarians – don’t ask… – but you can be as creative as you like. Even if the person you’re dressing up for isn’t crazy about your choice, they’re not going to be as turned off as if you’d turned up dressed head to toe in leather with a ball gag. It’s actually quite hard to find mens lingerie role-play outfits as a set, and they’re usually kind of tacky, so I try to make the outfits myself by buying separate items and putting them together. Fireman’s one you can’t do that with, but it’s much easier to buy blue coveralls and search through your dad’s toolbox to be a mechanic than to search for a complete outfit to buy.
• Exhibitionist
I have to admit, I’m guilty of this one. Men who are into exhibitionist mens lingerie wear stuff that stretches across all of these categories, because the trick is to wear something that makes people look at you and shows off your body. At college I used to wear a jock strap to play football in, and then strip down to it in the locker room and bend over in front of one of my teammates who I knew was interested. It was the feeling of being on display, where he could see almost everything, that really got me hard.
Some of the items at Koala Swim have taken this one step further, because they primarily sell unique mens swimwear. Some of the designs are so minimalist that you only really have your cock and balls covered and the rest is just a thong or G-string, and some don’t even cover that because they’re made of a transparent fabric ‘mesh’. Alright, maybe you’re not going to get away with wearing some of the items at public beaches, but I’ve bought a couple before and they get me hard even when I’m just sunbathing in my own backyard. My favorite is the ‘Hooked on Fun’ swimwear, which has a tiny micro pouch at the front with a build in cock ring. You might think that having to shave off your pubes just to wear mens lingerie might sound a bit extreme, but it’s worth it when you can feel the sun on places that have never seen it before. And the very best bit? Instead of having a normal piece of string to hold the front and back together, the pouch is attached to the waist, which only has a big hook at the back, designed to be put inside you and hold the whole thing in place. There’s no way that I would ever wear it in public, but it feels amazing to wear on your own.
• Cross-Dressing
Most people start very simply with this one, often by wearing a girlfriends panties under their jeans in public like I did. I’ve gotta admit, I don’t know why girls like men who cross dress because I’ve never had one of them explain it, but there are plenty who do. And if you’ve never been lucky enough to date a girl who doesn’t mind you wearing her underwear occasionally or a guy who’s suggested it, it’s definitely worth a try. Even with all those weird frilly bits and uncomfortable looking stringy bits, women’s underwear can feel really nice against your private parts. You could always skip the source completely, because you can buy mens lingerie online that’s called ‘women’s lingerie’ and has the pink frills and red lace you’re looking for.
I can’t really explain why I enjoy cross dressing so much, but it’s probably closely related to the arousing thought of wearing something kinky in public that no one else (except maybe the person you’re wearing it for) can see.
So there you have it, the best guide I can give to buying and wearing mens lingerie. If you’re interested in this and you’re just starting out, the key is to wear something you feel hot and kinky in, and something that isn’t going to send whoever you’re wearing it for running for the hills.
I’ve always found that most of the people I’ve slept with have been really adventurous when it comes to mens lingerie, and even those who were skeptical usually were happy to at least give it a try. A few of them even discovered a turn-on that they didn’t know that they had. The most important thing is to just enjoy it! Mens lingerie is meant to be fun and sexy at the same time, and if you’re taking yourself too seriously, there’s always a chance that it could go wrong. Buy something you like the look of, wriggle into it, and try it out on a loved one!
